Yesterday nearly passed me by. Five years since Pudding’s diagnosis of MPS Hunter Syndrome. Five years of knowing that we will lose our gorgeous boy before he turns 20. Five years since I gave up hope of being told it was all just a silly mistake. Five years of this roller coaster of treatments and hope and despair.
In the last few weeks I’ve noticed that Pudding has started getting darker hair on the corners of his lips. A reminder that time is passing and even though his brain is declining his body is still getting older.
But don’t cry for us. Not for long anyway. Because I have a secret.
I can stop time.
All I have to do is snuggle in close and let his head rest on my shoulder. Lean in to him and breathe in his hair. Breathe in the warmth and marmite and banana. Feel his hand grab mine to fiddle with. Drink in all the love and content that flows from him in buckets.
And time…pauses. Nothing else matters.