T, Niece or Nephew sometimes say things to me like ‘I hate broccoli’ or ‘I hate doing science’ and I’ve always told them that hate is a very strong word. That maybe we can think of a better way of describing how we feel about something.
But I can say truthfully and unequivocally, I hate, HATE, hate MPS.
I hate that mucopolysaccharidosis is a word that now rolls off my tongue easily when most people have never heard of it.
I hate that people I know are having to make heartbreaking decisions.
I hate that I have to watch my son take medicines and needles and recover from anesthetic with no idea why he’s being put through all this.
I hate that children are dying.
I hate that I’m too tired and miserable today to even try on some clothes that I’ve just had delivered.
I hate that I see other little boys with nasal cannulas and g-tubes.
I hate that every time you think things are looking up there is another barrier to face.
I hate that the few other families who know and understand this MPS life are spread all over the world and often out of reach.
I hate that I have to understand terms like ‘neutralising antibodies’, ‘urinary GAGs’ and ‘hypertrophic cardiomyopathy’.
I hate that this bloody disease punches you and punches you and punches you again.
And I hate that I can’t make this any better for my little boy.
Sometimes the word hate simply isn’t strong enough.