I wrote recently about feeling lucky, and that’s still the case. But of course, life is more complicated than that. The truth is that right now we’re walking on a fairly even path. The sun is shining, we’re having a fun outing as a family and we’re enjoying the view. But somewhere up ahead of us is a cliff-edge.

We don’t know when we’re going to get to it, though we know it’s close. We can’t change direction to avoid it. We have no choice but to keep on walking forward and just hope that we don’t fall headlong down into the chasm below.

Sorry, that analogy went on longer than I expected. Yes, I’m talking about Pudding’s clinical trial.

I think it’s getting pretty clear to anyone who knows Pudding that he is still gaining skills, whereas boys with Hunter Syndrome really shouldn’t be at this age. Yesterday I watched a video from school of him taking part in a relay race. I just couldn’t believe that it was my little boy running to a classmate, handing over the beanbag and then waiting patiently for his next turn. Yes, of course he still needed support, but the understanding and concentration he was demonstrating were… Well, we were all amazed and T begged to see it again and again. So, from our point of view, the trial that is putting enzyme into Pudding’s brain has to be making a difference.

But what is the cliff-edge?

Around this time in 2016, the final boys were recruited onto the clinical trial which officially runs for one year. (Pudding is currently on the extension study where he still gets the enzyme, but we don’t have quite as much testing.) The pharmaceutical company will therefore have all the data they need to look at the numbers and see whether it is a treatment option that is worth pursuing.

At that point they could just decide to cut and run. That is the first stumbling block but I don’t actually think it’s likely. Some boys have been on this intrathecal enzyme for years now, and are continuing to gain skills. Some trials (including for MPSIII drugs) get pulled part-way through the clinical period due to interim results. But that has not happened with this one which makes me think that the figures so far are promising enough.

The next step is for the drugs company to apply to the FDA and EMA (the bodies overseeing medicines in USA and Europe) for approval. This is a complicated process, could take months and even if the drugs company think they have good evidence, could still result in a ‘no’.

And then, and then…. the NHS would have to decide whether to fund the treatment. That’s the one I’m most scared about.

As ever, it’s the not-knowing that I find hardest to deal with. Not knowing how long we have to wait until we find out. Not knowing what the answers will be. The analysing and second-guessing can drive you crazy.

I don’t think I can deal with thinking about it much. So I’m doing what I can to stay relatively sane. Until we reach that cliff-edge and are teetering on the brink I’m going to keep on walking, ignore the inevitable and enjoy the day while we can.

And I will continue to remind myself that we are indeed still lucky. Other families are much nearer that cliff-edge than us. While decisions are being made, Pudding’s treatments will probably continue to be offered by the pharmaceutical company. Boys who didn’t make it onto the trial still have nothing.